Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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