He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
