Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
