Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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