you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
