My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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