I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think i got beer on your cat.
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