You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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