I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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