When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
