don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
