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Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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