Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
