Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
