i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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