I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
