she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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