I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
