i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
