theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
