Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
