Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.

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(206): View more from Washington

ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

(818): View more from California

oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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(518): View more from New York

Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.

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(305): View more from Florida

does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?

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(310): View more from California

A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME

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(353): View more from

Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?

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