Kiss
Puke
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
