i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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