How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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