But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
