you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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