You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
