I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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