grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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