I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
