she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
