Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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