her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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