He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
