He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
