Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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