okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
