I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
