dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
