He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
