U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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