u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
