Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
