i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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