Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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