My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
