I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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