I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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