is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
