you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
