I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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